Are You My Mentor?

Theme: Are You My Mentor?

Verse: A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. (Proverbs 1:5)

I was reading the children’s book, “Are You my Mother?” with my grandson, Wyatt, the other day. It got me thinking of this topic. For those that don’t remember (or have never read) the book, a baby bird is about to hatch out of its egg, so the mother leaves the nest in search of food for the new arrival. Meanwhile, the baby bird is born (well, technically hatched) and discovers the mother not there. He goes off into the world asking whether everything he sees is his mother.

People’s lives can be very similar if they don’t have good role models to follow. They will wander around like the baby bird wondering who will guide them through life.

I have had hundreds of mentors in my life. (When you get to be Medicare age, the numbers accumulate.) Some have been better than others. The best of them showed me that all things we do prepare us for other aspects of our lives. For example, team sports help us cooperate and collaborate to achieve the goal and that gets us ready for working with teams at work or on community projects.

So, what makes a good mentor?

1. They are good listeners. Steven Covey talked about seeking first to understand, then to be understood. This requires active listening and being genuinely interested in the other person in the conversation (which is another characteristic of great mentors).

2. They give constructive feedback. Feedback that merely identifies a problem without providing a path to resolution is half baked. If you want to be a great mentor, always provide solution options when providing feedback.

3. They are enthusiastic! No Eeyores allowed. (More children book references. Are you detecting a trend?) Great Mentors are more like Tigger, bouncing around, clearly happy to be part of process. You can feel the energy in the room when they are around, and they tend to get the person (or group) as excited about the endeavor as they are.

4. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The great Aretha Franklin gave us the concept in song. Even though they have superior knowledge and experience, great mentors know the other person has value and potential that can be molded into something great.

5. They are skilled teachers. Without teachers where would the world be? It’s great to be able to accomplish things on our own, but the community is much better off when our skills can be duplicated. Great mentors know the value of sharing their information with others and have a unique ability to effectively do so.

6. They take responsibility for those in their trust. Great mentors literally feel the ups and downs of their mentees as they carve their own path.

7. This one is hard for me. Great mentors are non-judgmental. Human nature is such that we know the best way for something to get done and any deviation from that is, well, just wrong. Not holding those with differing views of the world in some sort of judgment is difficult (at least it is for me). But the great mentors seem to have mastered it.

8. Their expertise is well documented. They don’t have to have all the answers but should have some credibility in the field. They don’t have to have been a world champion but should have shown some success in that area. If you want to know something about flying an airplane you probably want to talk to someone that has flown a lot. But it’s better to talk to a pilot rather than a person that has accumulated a million frequent flyer miles sitting in Seat 14C.

Each of us will be on both sides of the mentor equation at some point in our lives (and maybe in the course of a given day). Embrace the fact that God created us to both GIVE and RECEIVE mentorship. Look for opportunities to do so and when you do, seek the qualities list above. The world will be a better place when you do.

Have a GREAT week!

Adapted from Lead with Faith, Play with Purpose by Andy Dooley