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Matthew 27:3-5, When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”  So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Today’s narrative about Judas’ suicide is found only in Matthew. 

Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver.  I’m not sure what Judas thought would happen when he accepted the bribe.  Maybe Jewish independence?  Maybe some extra favors?  Maybe some sense of satisfaction?  But when Judas actually sees that Jesus is arrested and condemned, a man he knew was totally innocent, Judas is filled with remorse.  He sees the consequences of his decision.

In his anguish, Judas brings the silver back to the religious leaders.  Maybe he was looking for some kind of reassurance or guidance but they gave him none.  They were, after all, simply using him to get what they wanted.  When Judas realizes this, he appears to be consumed by both remorse and anger and hurls the silver into the temple.

It’s then that he kills himself.  It seems that Judas was overcome with remorse.  If you think about it, remorse produces extreme sorrow and grief.  The goal is that remorse will lead to repentance and life change.  This happened for Peter.  He denied Jesus three times, a very significant betrayal.  He must have felt incredible sorrow after what he did but he didn’t stay there.  He allowed God to move him to repentance.  But Judas, for whatever reason, could not get past the grief.  Maybe he was overcome with fear about what his life would be like when people discovered it was him.  Maybe he didn’t think he would be forgiven or he thought he would lose social position.  Whatever it was, he couldn’t get past it. 

Friends, I don’t know what you are dealing with right now, but there is ALWAYS hope.  Things can be really, really bad.  Life can feel totally dark.  But God is light.  With God, there is always hope for a better day.  For some reason, Judas didn’t think so but he was wrong.  Jesus would have forgiven him and loved him, just as he did Peter. 

Jesus loves you.  Jesus will always forgive you.  Your life is valuable.  If you ever get to the point where the darkness feels all-consuming, reach out immediately.  Reach out to me or to a friend.  And God is always there, just waiting, ready to listen and comfort.  You are never alone.

Let’s pray…Lord Jesus, Thank you for how you love us no matter what.  Help us never forget that.  In Your Name, Amen.